Official Fanfiction University of the Marvel Cinematic Univers
by The M.H.T.of R
Summary: The Official Fanfiction University of the Marvel Cinematic Universe, where badfic writers go to learn canon, good literature, grammar, and how to write well! Headmistress Tsarina is helped by a staff compiled of characters from Marvel's Avengers Universe and a small army of Mini-Chitauri, created from fanfic misspellings. Application inside!
1. Chapter 1

"Delia!"

Delia wearily poked her head over the stair railing.

"Mom, I'm taking a nap! Can't-" she blinked when she saw not her mother, but a young woman in a white dress accompanied by two grotesque creatures smiling cheerily back up at her.

"What-"

"Hush, hush." Said the girl. "We mustn't incite your mother to come up her and find a stranger and two Chitauri on her stairs must we?" She imperiously held up a hand toward Delia's gaping mouth. "Yes, many questions I'm sure. I am Tsarina, headmistress of OFUMCU, the Official Fanfiction University of the Marvel Cinematic Universe. You are officially the first student to be accepted. Since this is such a momentous occasion, I have come here in person to deliver your course application. Might I come up?"

Delia gaped for a moment, then finally waved her hand, slumping on the railing. If this is how vivid her dreams were getting, then she had been reading way too much fanfiction. Soon as she woke up, she was going to take a long break.

"I assure you, Miss Allen, that this is not a hallucination, dream or any other sort of figment of your imagination you might think me to be. Your proof is that I am speaking a word which I assume you do not know, Tsarina, and that your surroundings are as you have always known them, save for the fact that two creatures who do not exist and one you would have never had the ingenuity (no offence dear, simply stating the truth) to imagine are currently entering your den. I dearly hope you don't mind, for we shall do it anyway." Said Tsarina, blithely gliding past. One of the small beasts took Delia's hand and pulled her in after.

"Now, a bit of explanation- Romanoff, do shut the door. Spasibo. Now Delia, I am sure you have many questions? Now is the time, ask away."

This dream just got weirder and weirder. Although maybe it wasn't one… no, people in dreams always insisted it was real. Delia shook her head, having nothing to say.

"Well… alright then. Capitan." The strange woman gestured at the larger of the creatures, which promptly leapt up from where it had been residing at her feet and slapped what appeared to be an I-phone into Delia's palm.

"Turn it on." The woman urged, before settling herself down with Delia's laptop.

Delia stared at the device, than decided that this was a dream, the worst it could do was wake her up. She pressed the main button. Confetti shot out of the top and the screen sprung into life with a loud trumpet fanfare. A message zoomed into view. It read:

Dear MissAllen,

It has come to our attention that you have been publishing fanfic of the particularly heinous type in the Avengers/Thor/Captain America/Hulk/Iron Man category(ies). This is unacceptable. Therefore, you have been selected to attend the Official Fanfiction University of the Marvel Cinematic Universe in an attempt to rectify this problem. You will complete a year of specialized training at our campus and will be tested for proficiency upon completion. If you pass, you will receive a fanfiction license and be authorized to write Avengers/Thor/Captain America/Hulk/Iron Man fanfiction. If you fail you face that choice of never writing Avengers/Thor/Captain America/Hulk/Iron Man fanfiction again or retaking the course.

If you wish to refuse this opportunity, you may of course do so, but be forewarned that this will cause your fanfiction account and any traces of your fanfiction to be destroyed and any attempt to revive them will fail and end in severe punishment.

Sincerely,

OFUMCU Staff and Tsarina, Headmistress.

Below the letter was what appeared to be a questionnaire. Delia read it, then shrugged it and began to fill it in.

Name: Delia Allen

Gender: Female

Age: 16

Race: Dark Elf

She actually had no idea what a dark elf was, but hey, it was a dream.

Please give a_brief_description of yourself: My hair is long luxuriously soft and the gorgos hue of polished mahogany. My thick eyelashes frame large and limpid eyes which change color with my mood. My skin is

Delia frowned as the screen moved down to the next question. She hadn't finished!

List your fanfictions (Avengers, etc. only please.): Mischief Managed, All's Fair in Love and War, Sunflowers

Have you ever written a crossover:no

If yes, with what fandom:

List your OCs who have been main characters, if any: Aloisia Pamina Branwen

Do you admit having ever written a Mary Sue/Gary Stu: No!

Have you ever written slash: Yes.

If so, for whom and in which fanfiction: Iron Man and Steve in All's Fair in Love and War

Favorite character(s): Loki and Captane America! 3 3 3

Least favorite character(s): Nick Furry!11!1

Favorite canon pairing: Why would I want to pair up a canonn?

Least favorite canon pairing: Same as above

Lust objects: … Loki and Steve

Have you ever written a lemon/lime: why would I write about fruit?

What genre of fanfiction do you commonly write: Romance

You spot Steve Rogers, Tony Stark and Bruce Banner in a bar. What is your reaction: I would faintand then steve would catch me and fall in love with me11!111

Do you believe you adequately understand the rating system: Uh yeah?

Please summarize briefly: Uhh k is for kiddy stuuf, t is for normal and M is fro anything that has naughty stuff in it

What is your religion/worldview:

Have you ever attended another OFU/OFA etc.: no

If yes, which and why:

What are your goals in attending this University: none

After all the questions had been exhausted she scrolled down and down and down past an extensive amount of text to a box with flashing letters saying

Sign your name here!

Delia did it with a flourish of the stylus and looked up to see the Tsarina standing right in front of her with an expectant smile on her face. She handed the small tablet over and the lady clapped her hands.

"All done?" she asked. "Good. I've finished confiscating all of your fanfiction for review. If you do well, you'll get it back at the end of the year. Keep an eye out for any mini Chitauri that turn up, because they'll be there to bring you to the University at the beginning of term. Thank you for your cooperation, and au revoir, until we meet again!" And with that, the woman disappeared, along with her two companions, in a shower of sparks,. Delia felt a wooziness coming over her, and when she awoke an hour later, with only fuzzy memories of the strange "dream", it was easy for her to write it off.

That is, until a mini Chitauri turned up on her doorstep a few weeks later.

A/N: There. It has begun. The Official Fanfiction University of Marvel Cinematic Universe has opened its doors to applications. Please send me yours in a PM. Makes it easier for me to keep track. And to make it easier for you, here is the application, all ready for copying and pasting. Take note, only the first thirty words of your brief description of yourself will count. Race is there so you can be whatever crazy thing your little heart desires. Be aware, you may very well be parodied and fangirl-ified. Also: I will be assigning homework. Nothing too strenuous, just some writing and maybe a couple multiple-choice quizzes. Keep that it mind though, as it WILL be expected to be completed.

Name:

Gender:

Age:

Race:

Please give a_brief_description of yourself:

List your fanfictions (Avengers, etc. only please.):

Have you ever written a crossover:

If so, with what fandom:

List your OCs who have been main characters, if any:

Do you admit having ever written a Mary Sue/Gary Stu:

Have you ever written slash:

If so, for whom and in which fanfiction:

Favorite character(s):

Least favorite character(s):

Favorite canon pairing:

Least favorite canon pairing:

Lust objects:

Have you ever written a lemon/lime:

What genre of fanfiction do you commonly write:

You spot Steve Rogers, Tony Stark and Bruce Banner in a bar. What is your reaction:

Do you believe you adequately understand the rating system:

Please summarize briefly:

What is your religion/worldview:

Have you ever attended another OFU/OFA etc.:

If so, which and why:

What are your goals in attending this University:

Oh, and I will be checking out at least one of each applicants fanfics, so be forewarned. Also, report any noticed mini Chitauri on the forums.

~Tsarina~


	2. Chapter 2

**Hm, finally, the next exciting chapter. I still need more students, so please send in your applications!**

**Disclaimer:**** Since I forgot to put this on the last one… The OFU idea belongs to that genius, Miss Cam and is used with permission. The Avenger and all affliates belong to someone who is not me, and are used without permission, and no claim is laid from this party to their ownership. The Tsarina is me, and belongs to me. Students belong to themselves, and any badfic mentioned or alluded to belong to their respective owners. Delia belongs to me. Many thanks to Maharani Radha for reminding of this, and letting me borrow from her OFU. Anything that is hers belongs to her. "Code Maria Susa" belongs to Bronze Cat.**

* * *

The Tsarina was in her office at the Avengers Mansion, furiously writing, when an alarm began to blare.

"Code Maria Susa, Headmistress." JARVIS declared over the grating noise. Tsarina preened at the prestigious title for a moment, then shut off the alarm and grabbed her purse, asking "Where, JARVIS?"

"Sensors are showing an abnormally decadent and earth-like ballroom in the Asgardian Palace."

"Alright, thank you. Keep an eye on things while I'm gone. Come on Rifka." The Tsarina said, before enveloping herself and her co-headmistress in flames.

* * *

"You are so beautiful." Loki whispered, his lips sensually close to her ear. Anastasia shuddered, whether in pleasure or fear she did not know.

"I-" she began to say, but stopped at the rather strange sight of a young woman leaping out of a fire bowl. The gentle music which had been drifting through the room ground to a screeching for a moment before playing on. Loki stopped their dance at Anastasia's gasp. His eyes narrowed as he turned and saw the young woman brushing cinders off her pristine white dress, and he gripped Anastasia's arm possessively.

"Hi Loki!" she said cheerily, then before anyone could do anything, she whipped a small stick from some unseen pocket and jabbed it at that deliciously devilish deity we all know and love. As sudden as the attack been though, Loki was able to just twitch out of the way and snatch his staff from beneath a nearby table. The Tsarina grinned wolfishly and stuck her stick back in her pocket and drew out a staff.

It was well she did- for Loki danced forward with deadly grace and stabbed, missing her by but a hair's breadth. The Tsarina yelped, and dove under the aforementioned table. Eyes narrowed, focused on his prey to the exclusion of all else, not noticing the noise of the other Asgardians leaving the room , or withdrawing to the outskirts to watch the altercation, nor the shout of one of the slowly advancing guards, Loki missed Anastasia's scream until it was too late.

The beautiful, stunning, and pulchritudinous lady flopped to the ground with an audible thump. Loki stared uncomprehendingly for a moment, his mouth opened with the beginning of a word, then his eyes rolled back into their sockets, and he too fell.

The Tsarina scrambled out from under the table and rushed over. She grinned at her assistant headmistress, Rifka Dovchenko, who had hit Anastasia over the head with a large stick, and hurried to Loki.

"Come on now." She muttered. "What's wrong with you?" she pried his eyelids apart, then jumped back with a screech. "Rifka, his eyes are Urple."

"Urple?" Rifka asked, warily eyeing Loki's twitching extremities.

"Yea… it's a horrifying mix of pink and purple. A very Sue-ish color. Can you hand me my bag?"

"Where is it?"

"I dropped it next to the brazier I jumped out of. The one by the flower arrangement."

"Got it."

Rifka handed the large, not-leather bag to the Tsarina, who took it without looking up from Loki's face and reached inside. She ferreted around for a moment, still not moving her gaze from Loki, then finally gave a small noise of frustration and stuck her head inside the bag. There was a shout of triumph, and she pulled out her head and a vial partially full of smoky vermilion liquid.

"Here we are…" she mumbled. She hopped to her feet and ripped out a strand of Loki's silken, raven locks, then one of Anastasia's, which shone as gold in the firelight. "And those go in here…"

Just as the Tsarina wrenched the cork out of the vial to add the hairs, Loki's leg flew up and kicked it out of her hand, spilling more droplets the color of half dried blood over the glittering ballroom floor. The glass vial was flung into the brazier, where it sizzled and turned the fire an angry shade of puce. The Tsarina cursed and dove to her bag as Loki began to jerkily climb to his feet.

"Good thing I always carry an extra." She exclaimed. "Catch, Rifka."

Rifka caught the tossed vial with one hand, plucked the hairs off its neck, added them to the potion, then chucked the smoking concoction directly at the shambling figure of Asgard's Most Wanted Lust Object. It hit him smack dab in the chest. Loki looked down derisively and moved his hand to plucky the vial stuck in the sticky potion off his breastplate, when, if the French will be pardoned, all Hell broke loose.

The brazier the first potion had landed in exploded into a cloud of noxious coral smoke, the potion on Loki's chest ate through his armor like acid and into his chest, and Anastasia began again to scream.

"Run for shelter!" Bellowed the Tsarina as she chased the remaining Asgardians from the room. No sooner had she left it then the smoke cleared and Loki was revealed lying on the floor next to the trussed up Anastasia, with Rifka standing a few feet away.

"What was that?" Rifka asked, laughing.

"Better safe than sorry." The Tsarina said solemnly. "Did it work?"

Rifka waved her hand at Loki's still form and the Tsarina hopped over and pried open one of his eyes. "They're back to normal, thank the Lord. Was this the last Sue?"

"I think so; at least as far as we know."

"Ok, that's good. Ready to head back?"

"Yep."

"Ah, Loki." The Tsarina sighed, grabbing his hand. "We're going back to the Mansion, then the students will arrive. I hope you're ready."

* * *

A few hours later, after Loki had been brought to the med bay, the Sue had been stored, and everything had been put away and in readiness for the hordes of fangirls and boys that would turn up with the dawn, the Tsarina and Deputy Headmistress Rifka stood together on the fore balcony of the Avengers' Mansion.

"Do you think we can do this?" The Tsarina asked, her eyes wide.

Rifka glanced over at the Headmistress, folded her hands behind her back and nodded. "I think, Tsarina, we're as ready as we can be. Let's turn these fans into writers!"

* * *

**Anastasia belongs to me. Name, personality, and actions are the product of my imagination, and any resemblance actual persons, living, dead, or fictional, are entirely coincidental**


End file.
